Obama, whose your daddy?

Very funny, if it wasn't so dang true 

Little Johnny on Obama

Little Johnny . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The kids filed back into class Monday morning . They were very excited . Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship . Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success . " "Very good," said the teacher . Little Mary was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events . " "Very good, Mary" said the teacher Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn . The teacher held her breath . . . Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk . "$2,467," he said . "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?" "Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny . "Toothbrushes!" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?" "I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny . "I set up a Dip & Chip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample . " They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog crap!" Then I would say,"It is dog crap . Wanna' buy a toothbrush?" "I used the Obama approach of giving you something shitty for free, and then making you pay to get the taste out of your mouth . " Really, is this not what Obama does? He sets up a crisis and then the solution is for you to spend money to try and get back to where… before he spoke and you trusted him

Best Bar Joke Ever

Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Martini."
The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says," 168."
The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.


The guy leaves, but he is curious...So he goes back into the bar.
The robot bartender says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Martini."
Again, the robot makes a great martini gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says, "100."
The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors. 
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time.


He goes back into the bar.
The robot says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Martini," and the robot brings him another great martini.
The robot then says, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says, "Uh, about 50."
The robot leans in real close and says, "So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?"

Obama, Americas biggest JOKE

Barack Obama met with the Queen of England. He asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there... any tips you can give to me?"

‎"Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people." Obama frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"

The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please ... See More send Tony Blair in here, would you?"

Tony Blair walked into the room and said, "Yes, Your Majesty?" The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this please, Tony, your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"

Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered, "That would be me."

"Yes! Very good," said the Queen.

Obama went back home to ask Joe Biden, his vice presidential choice the same question. "Joe, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?" "I'm not sure," said Biden. "Let me get back to you on that one..." He went to his advisors and asked every one, but none could give him an answer.

Finally, he ran into Sarah Palin out eating one night. Biden asked, “Sarah, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Sarah Palin answered back, "That's easy, it's me!"

Biden smiled, and said, "Thanks!" Then, he went back to speak with Obama. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Sarah Palin!"

Obama got up, stomped over to Biden, and angrily yelled into his face, "No! You idiot! It's Tony Blair!"