Best Bar Joke Ever

Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Martini."
The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says," 168."
The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.


The guy leaves, but he is curious...So he goes back into the bar.
The robot bartender says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Martini."
Again, the robot makes a great martini gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says, "100."
The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors. 
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time.


He goes back into the bar.
The robot says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Martini," and the robot brings him another great martini.
The robot then says, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says, "Uh, about 50."
The robot leans in real close and says, "So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?"

Balance in Gods view

People in Washington are always talking about having a balanced approach to everything.

Being from a small town in Colorado, I must agree with the approach below! 

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
 
He inquired, "Where have you been?"
 
God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
 
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"
 
"It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."
 
"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."
 
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."
 
God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
 
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"
 
"That's Colorado, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful Mountains and Prairies, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and the plains." Then God Said, "This is Colorado, the center of America... The people of Colorado are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things."
 
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."
 
God smiled, "I will create Washington, D.C. Wait till you see the idiots I put there."

Obituary, today common sense died!

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this blog post on. If not, join the majority and do nothing

Post your comments below and have a great weekend!
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BEST BAR JOKE EVER

Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini." The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says," 168." The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology. The guy leaves, but he is curious...So he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini." Again, the robot makes a great martini gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors. The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini," and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh, about 50." The robot leans in real close and says, "So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?"

More Liberal wisdom.

Hank Johnson: US Congressman (democrat) claims Guam 'will capsize from military influx'

Watch the short video, that man is clearly high on something.

This fool was re-elected in his home state!

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