To Raise a Child 1756

"It should be your care, therefore, and mine, to elevate the minds of our children and exalt their courage; to accelerate and animate their industry and activity; to excite in them an habitual contempt of meanness, abhorrence of injustice and inhumanity, and an ambition to excel in every capacity, faculty, and virtue. If we suffer their minds to grovel and creep in infancy, they will grovel all their lives." --John Adams, Dissertation on the Canon and Feudal Law, 1756

Is Obama stupid or just a liar?

President Barack Obama said in Turkey  : "We do not consider ourselves a Christian nation or a Jewish nation or a Muslim nation.

 We consider ourselves a nation of citizens who are bound by ideals and a set of values."

Obama, the ACLU, and the out- of- control Federal Courts are wrong!

Do you know the preamble for your state? You may find this very interesting;

Alabama 1901,

 Preamble We the people of the State of Alabama , invoking the favor and guidance of Almighty God, do 
ordain and establish the following Constitution.. 

Alaska 1956,

 Preamble We, the people of   Alaska , grateful to God and to those who founded our nation and pioneered this great land.

Arizona 1911,

 Preamble We, the people of the State of   Arizona , grateful to Almighty God for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution...

Arkansas 1874,

Preamble We, the people of the State of   Arkansas , grateful to  Almighty God for the privilege of choosing our own form of government...

California 1879,

Preamble We, the People of the State of   California , grateful to Almighty God for our freedom...

Colorado 1876,

 Preamble We, the people of   Colorado , with profound reverence for the Supreme Ruler of Universe.... 

Connecticut 
1818, Preamble. The People of Connecticut , acknowledging with gratitude the good Providence of God in  permitting them to

enjoy.

Delaware 1897,

Preamble. Through Divine Goodness all men have, by nature, the rights of worshiping and serving their Creator according to the dictates of their consciences... 

Florida 1885,

Preamble We, the people of the State of   Florida , grateful to Almighty God for our constitutional liberty, establish this Constitution...

Georgia 1777,

Preamble We, the people of   Georgia , relying upon protection and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish this Constitution...

Hawaii 1959,

Preamble We , the people of   Hawaii , Grateful for Divine Guidance ... Establish this Constitution. 

Idaho 1889,

Preamble We, the people of the State of   Idaho , grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, to secure its blessings.. 

Illinois 
1870, Preamble We, the people of the State of Illinois, grateful to Almighty God for the civil , political and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy and looking to Him for a blessing on our endeavors. 

Indiana 1851,

Preamble We, the People of the State of   Indiana , grateful to Almighty God for the free exercise of the right to choose our form of government.

Iowa 1857,

Preamble We, the People of the St ate of   Iowa , grateful to the Supreme Being for the blessings hitherto enjoyed, and feeling our dependence on Him for a continuation of these blessings, establish this Constitution. 

Kansas 1859,

Preamble We, the people of  Kansas , grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious privileges establish this Constitution.

Kentucky 1891,

Preamble.. We, the people of the Commonwealth are grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberties.. 

Louisiana 1921,

Preamble We, the people of the State of   Louisiana , grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberties we enjoy.

Maine 1820,

Preamble We the People of Maine acknowledging with grateful hearts the goodness of the Sovereign Ruler of the Universe in affording us an opportunity .. And imploring His aid and direction.

Maryland 1776,

Preamble We, the people of the state of   Maryland , grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberty... 

Massachusetts 1780,

Preamble. We the people of Massachusetts, acknowledging with grateful hearts, the goodness of the Great Legislator of the Universe In the course of His Providence, an opportunity and devoutly imploring His direction

Michigan 1908,

Preamble..  We, the people of the State of Michigan, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of freedom, establish this Constitution.

Minnesota, 1857,

 Preamble We, the people of the State of Minnesota, grateful to God for our civil and religious liberty, and desiring to perpetuate its blessings:

Mississippi 1890,

Preamble We, the people of Mississippi in convention assembled, grateful to Almighty God, and invoking His blessing on our work.

Missouri 1845,

 Preamble We, the people of   Missouri , with profound reverence for the Supreme Ruler of the Universe, and grateful for His goodness . Establish this Constitution... 

Montana 1889,

Preamble. We, the people of   Montana , grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of liberty establish this Constitution 

Nebraska 1875,

Preamble We, the people, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom . Establish this Constitution.

Nevada 1864,

 Preamble We the people of the State of   Nevada , grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, establish this Constitution...

New Hampshire1792,  

Every individual has a natural and unalienable right to worship God according to the dictates of his own conscience.

New Jersey1844,

Preamble We, the people of the State of New Jersey, grateful to Almighty God for civil and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing on our endeavors.

New Mexico1911,

 Preamble We, the People of New Mexico, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of liberty..

New York1846,

 Preamble We, the people of the State of New York, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, in order to secure its blessings.

North Carolina 1868,

 Preamble We the people of the State of North Carolina, grateful to Almighty God, the Sovereign Ruler of Nations, for our civil, political, and religious liberties, and acknowledging our dependence upon Him for the continuance of those...

North Dakota 1889,

 Preamble We, the people of North Dakota, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty, do ordain...

Ohio 1852,

 Preamble We the people of the state of Ohio, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, to secure its blessings and to promote our common.

Oklahoma 1907,

Preamble.  Invoking the guidance of Almighty God, in order to secure and perpetuate the blessings of liberty, establish this

Oregon 1857,

 Bill of Rights, All men shall be secure in the Natural right, to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their consciences

Pennsylvania 1776,

Preamble We, the people of Pennsylvania, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty, and humbly invoking His guidance.....

Rhode Island 1842,

Preamble. We the People of the State of Rhode Island grateful to 
Almighty God for the civil and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing...

South Carolina1778,

Preamble We, the people of the State of South Carolina grateful to God for our liberties, do ordain and establish this Constitution.

South Dakota1889,

Preamble We, the people of  South Dakota , grateful to Almighty 
God for our civil and religious liberties ... 

Tennessee 1796,

Art. XI..III. That all men have a natural and indefeasible right to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their conscience...

Texas 1845,

Preamble We the People of the  Republic of  Texas , acknowledging, with gratitude, the grace and beneficence of God.

Utah 1896,

Preamble. Grateful to Almighty God for life and liberty, we establish this Constitution.

Vermont 1777,

Preamble. Whereas all government ought to enable the individuals who compose it to enjoy their natural rights, and other blessings which the Author of Existence has bestowed on man ..

Virginia 1776,

 Bill of Rights, XVI Religion, or the Duty which we owe our Creator can be directed only by Reason and that it is the mutual duty of all to practice Christian Forbearance, Love and Charity towards each other

Washington 1889,

Preamble We the People of the State of Washington, grateful to the Supreme Ruler of the Universe for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution

West Virginia1872,

Preamble. Since through Divine Providence we enjoy the blessings of civil, political and religious liberty, we, the people of West Virginia reaffirm our faith in and constant reliance upon God .

Wisconsin 1848,

Preamble We, the people of Wisconsin, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, domestic tranquility...

Wyoming 1890,

Preamble We, the people of the State of  Wyoming, grateful to 
God for our civil, political, and religious liberties, establish this Constitution... 

After reviewing acknowledgments of God from all 50 state constitutions, one is faced with the prospect that maybe,

Obama, the ACLU, and the out- of- control Federal Courts are wrong!
  

Courts, Stress and Death

Stress kills!


I am a perfect example of the effects of high levels of stress. At 49 all my tests were great, blood pressure good, PSA good, weight and overall health good. I hunted, fished and played with my sons and wife. We attended church together as a family, had friends and family over and enjoyed life. The boys activities were a major point in our lives and we all traveled together.

Then came back my ex wife with a vengeance. The nightmare started, and all of the things I did for enjoyment stopped and the focus became court issues.

During this time I had remarried (4 years) to a very smart and beautiful woman, This caused my ex wife of several years to start a campaign of evil. Even though I was ignorant of Parental Alienation at the time, it was very apparent that My ex wife did her best at every opportunity to bad mouth me and my wife to my sons and anyone in the community that would listen. She was and still is very angry and bitter. It seems she cannot elevate herself or herself esteem so she attempts to harm the reputation of others, to bring them down to, or below the level she feels herself in.

Long story short, (just in this blog, much more to come) My wife and I had full custody of my sons. My ex had gambled and partied away her money and after 7 cars and 2 houses, and many boyfriends (wrote me an e-mail that she had young men standing in line) all of the divorce settlement worth over $80,000 and filed bankruptcy .

It had been agreed that my ex wife would keep the children under her work health care because she stated that it only cost her $8 to do so, (I am self employed). That was fine until my ex wife had the need to cause problems. The year I was 49 my ex would not pay anything for the kids health care and raised the deductable to $3,000. After many attempts to get her to pay, including clarification from the court, She just said no to any payments and to take her to court. My wife and I paid the total deductable on my ex wife’s health care policy for that year (over $3,000) with nothing from her. My blood pressure started to climb and I was put on medication.

Later a court battle started over custody of the boys. My ex wife was broke and after finding out that I had a great cherry harvest and a super income year, put a plan in place to steal the children from me. She had always threatened to get a huge amount of child support from me but without having custody of the boys she could not. So starts the escalation of Parental Alienation and laying a ground work within people she knew. Bottom line is that with lies told by her and her attorney and statements made to the court by my two sons who were being mentally manipulated, (documented by a child psychologist the boys were court ordered to see, that it is the worst case of parental alienation that he had ever seen) stole my sons from me and branded me as abusive. This was in December of my 49th year. By March of the next year the court battle and lies continued. My heart was broken and my currant wife and I were having huge marital problems from this issue. I turned 50 and my PSA started to climb. Within 9 months it was confirmed I had cancer.

The reality is that excessive, stress can actually kill you. It can take a very healthy body and destroy it within months. When you're stressed, your body produces the hormone cortisol, which is designed to get your rear in gear as part of the fight-or-flight mechanism. However, this hormone is meant to be released only occasionally in small doses - when stress causes it to be secreted for long periods of time, the body reacts with a variety of different health consequences.

The following are seven of the major health effects caused by stress. If you're experiencing any of these conditions and believe they may be linked to stress, seek medical counseling as soon as possible:

1. Diabetes

Diabetes occurs when the body produces too little insulin to process all the sugars in your body. As these sugars build up, you may experience a number of health problems including thirst, headaches and weight loss. Over time, the condition can cause complications ranging from heart disease, stroke, kidney disease, eye damage, nerve damage, diabetic neuropathy, skin conditions, and gastrointestinal problems.

2. High Blood Pressure

High blood pressure is often referred to as a "silent killer" because there are few actual symptoms that present with the disease. High levels of stress can bring on this condition, which can result in an aneurysm,
coronary heart disease, enlarged heart, damage to the brain and even heart attack. If that isn't a good enough reason to learn to manage your stress - I don't know what is!

3. Weight Gain

People under high levels of stress often experience fluctuations in weight - as anyone who's ever taken comfort in candy bars knows all to well. However, if your weight gain gets out of control, you could be putting yourself at risk for developing cancer, heart problems, high blood pressure, diabetes, stroke, sleep apnea, liver disease and gallbladder disease. If you notice that you've put on a few pounds, try hitting the gym - exercise is also a natural stress reliever.

4. Susceptibility to Disease

Your body can only do so much - when you're under constant pressure, its resources are being diverted to help respond to stress. This leaves the immune system compromised and susceptible to infection by viruses and bacteria. If you've ever noticed yourself coming down with a bug when you're at your most stressed, it isn't just a coincidence - it's your body letting you know that you're under too much stress to handle safely.

5. Depression

Constant stress can make you feel like there's no way out of your predicament, which can eventually lead to feelings of hopelessness and depression. Depression is a serious disease - it's nothing to take lightly. If you find yourself feeling trapped by feelings of despair and despondency, seek professional help immediately.

6. Heart Disease

Type A people beware - stress can and does cause heart disease and heart attacks. Stress contributes to the buildup of plaque in the arteries. As the arteries narrow, the heart has to push the blood even harder to distribute it throughout the body. Over time, this extra stress on the heart can have devastating effects.

7. Cancer

While there's no proven link between stress and cancer, it's widely accepted that excessive stress is a risk factor for developing a type of this deadly disease. Overall, stress weakens the immune system which may allow cancerous tissues to develop and flourish. If you feel that excessive negative stress is causing your immune system to break down, seek help to learn effective stress management techniques that allow you to cope properly.

3 Keys to Healing Parental Alienation

When children go away to college and get away from "who and what" the controlling family members want them to be, a window opens up. What they discover is their essence. Now here's the gem...

That essence is a composite of their formative years. If you were in their lives during this time, good chance you can slip back in and they can be in yours.

3 Keys to Healing Parental Alienation

There are some key things you will want to do and things you'll be best avoiding in order to rekindle your relationship with your children if you are an estranged parent.

1) Focus on what you have, and what you had, with them; not what you don't have or what you missed. To help you maintain this focus, find points of shared sweet sentiment and build out from here.

2) Trust that they don't need to understand all the elements surrounding your absence to feel their love for you and yours for them. It is already there. Always know these so-called "elements" of your story must be digested as they can be assimilated...and not a moment before.

3) Don't expect them to give you back what you lost. They can't. They don't hold what you lost, as they lost it too.

Forgive yourself and forgive your children.

It will be OK

Live your life, be happy, have fun, remember the good times and look forward to more...in the years to come.

May God Bless You

Dirty Tricks Used In Child Custody Battles

Parental alienation is a very real and severe problem in America. I have posted much information on this subject in the April Blogs and many discussion topics are available on the forum at www.everythingwestern.net

Many family’s are involved with alienation of a child or children against another parent, sometimes without considering the impact of their words and other times with a vile and evil intent at destroying a relation with the other parent.

The following list probably provides those, in the know, with very little new information. However, if you’re not experienced or knowledgeable about what goes on in high-conflict divorces and child custody cases, you may want to familiarize yourself with what is potentially to come. Take a look:

Clean out the bank account or safety deposit box.
Run-up the account balances on credit cards.
Steal or sell the furniture and keep the cash.
Engage in varying degrees of parental alienation and/or otherwise speaking poorly of you to the children or in front of the children to others.
Share with the children intimate details of the divorce and/or custody proceedings.
Leave with the kids unannounced, with no forwarding address or way to get in contact with the children.
Use financial issues to gain leverage with custody or child-related matters.
File a petition and/or restraining order to get you kicked out of your own home and restricted from even coming onto the property at any time.
Spread nasty rumors and speak poorly about you in front of mutual friends to try to divide loyalties.
Move out of state and take your child, claiming that it is in the “best interest of the child.”
Withhold or interfere with your visitation rights (custodial interference).
File motions and use delay tactics to tie you up in court and drain your finances. (Win the case through financial attrition.)
Falsely claim physical or sexual abuse against them.
Falsely claim physical or sexual abuse towards your children.
Get a restraining order against you based on false allegations.
Force you to move out of the house through harassment and coercion, and then petition the court claiming you have “abandoned the family.”
Claim that child support was not received on time or at all.
Involve family members, friends, or others in malicious actions against you.
Deny, restrict, or interfere with telephone access to the children.
Interfere with your participating in your child’s school and other recreational activities.
Use your mutual or, unsuspecting “friends” to get inside information to use against you in court or even turn them into unwitting spies. Worse - engaging the children to be spies for them.
Withhold important information about your child’s health or well-being. They may even tell stories to professionals that would give them “reason” to preclude sharing the same.

The list above is not all-inclusive, but are some of the most common. These tactics are used with alarming frequency and effectiveness to frustrate, outmaneuver, obtain a legal upper-hand, and wear the target parent down and out.

These tactics can be learned through friends, books that are written specifically for this purpose (by those who were more than likely successful employing such tactics, and unsurprisingly, by attorneys.

Sadly, it is becoming more commonplace for some unscrupulous attorneys to recommend one or more of these tactics to their clients because it gives them a decided advantage and almost guaranteed victory in court.
For instance, if your ex-partner can convince the courts that you have physically abused her and/or your child, she gains a tremendous advantage over you in all further proceedings. The father will be known as a “violent offender,” a person for whom judges have limitless disdain, and they will not hesitate to grant false accuser whatever they want.

Unfortunately, even when you’re successful in turning away these charges and win, perception is still reality in some circles. It becomes reality to some and it’s a stain on you that is hard to get out. It is imperative that you are the one to remain the calm, rational person with your ex-partner. The less you do to provoke the high-conflict ex-partner, the better off you will be in the long run. You never want to be responsible for a situation getting out of control as they will be the foundation for much heartache in family court

Obama promotes fatherless house holds to school kids!

To get the Mad Americans view on today’s issues, you must visit the blog at; http://www.everythingwestern.net/

Here is what President Barack Obama recently told 9th grade students during a discussion at Wakefield High School in Arlington, Va.

STUDENT: Hi, my name is Brandon. I was wondering, you said that your father wasn't really in your life. That's kind of like me, my parents were divorced. But how do you think your life would have been different if he would have been there for you? Like, if -- how would your education have been and would you still be President?

THE PRESIDENT: It's an interesting question. You know, you never know exactly how your life would turn out if there was a change in circumstances as big as your dad being around. I think that -- I actually wrote a book about this, called "Dreams For My Father," where I tried to figure out what was he like, who was he. He was a very, very smart man, (but he was sort of arrogant and kind of overbearing, and he had his own problems and his own issues).

This is so very typical of parental alienation! Obama’s daddy left when he was only 2 years old and yet as any politician would answer, he says he was a very, very smart man. Why is this? Why does he think this? Was he smart because he left his wife and young son? Political, a per political comment by Obama without any support for his view...typical of him!

So (my mother always used to say) that if he had been around, I probably would have been having a lot of arguments with him all the time.

Again, his mother tell her young son that if his father would have been around, they would have argued all the time. That is parental alienation! Shame on his mother for saying this and shame on our President for believing what was feed to him. You would think that maybe Obama would have tried to find out 1st hand about his father. The pursuit of truth is not high on our Presidents agenda, never was and sure is not now!

I think that I was lucky, though, that my mother always -- she never spoke badly about him, which I think since I was a boy, knowing that even if your dad wasn't around, that you still were hearing good things about him I think probably improved my own self-confidence.

Did you hear his words? Does the double talk escape everyone? Within seconds he says his mother told him that he would argue all the time with his father if he had been around. She instilled in him that his father was over bearing, had problems and issues of his own. Yet true to form, he defends his mother by saying that “she never spoke badly about him”. Is our President a fool or an incent victim of his mothers parental alienation agenda?

When I look back on my life, I think that -- Michelle's dad was around, and Arne I think knew him. Just a great guy. Wonderful, wonderful man. And he actually had multiple sclerosis, so he had to walk with canes, but went to every basketball game that my brother-in-law played in, was there for every dance recital Michelle was in, was just a great family man. And when I look at her dad, I say to myself, boy, that would be nice to have somebody like that that you could count on who was always there for you.

So unlike his own father... but still, he longed for that type of relationship.

On the other hand, I think that not having a dad in some ways forced me to grow up faster. It meant that I made more mistakes because I didn't have somebody to tell me, here's how you do this or here's how you do that. But on the other hand, I had to, I think, raise myself a little bit more. I had to be more supportive of my mother because I knew how hard she was working. And so, in some ways, maybe it made me stronger over time, just like it may be making you stronger over time.

Great, now Obama is supporting single parenthood. He is telling a whole class room of children that not having a father made him stronger. He is condoning and even suggesting that young men being raised by a single mother makes them stronger. This is the total opposite view of the facts! Even within our own Government all the studies show that kids and especially young men do much better in life with a father in their lives. Indeed, without a father role model that enforces rules of conduct within the house and uses discipline and strict consequences for bad behavior, children will soon be parenting themselves and that is a recipe for disaster. Obama needs to read his Bible. The Bible explains without a doubt the role and benefits of a father and abiding by his rules. The Bible also has a very interesting story about a mother and parental alienation see Genesis chapter 27. Perhaps the church Obama attended for 20 years never touched on that (father) topic?

There are many issues confronting our nation, but none more important than our base/God fearing religion and how we raise our children.
Ask yourself, how were you raised, how much has that changed in 25-40 years and is it better now?

There are many issues confronting our nation, but none more important than our base/God fearing religion and how we raise our children.
Ask yourself, how were you raised, how much has that changed in 25-40 years and is in better now?

Young and have kids? How do you want them to grow up?

Please look at old blogs (April) on this website about parental alienation. This is a huge problem in this nation (divorce rate of 50% and 62% for second marriage) and if left unchecked, unchallenged…will be the down fall of this nation.

I invite you to sign in, comment and follow this blog and view the forum on this website where you can express your views.

Court destroys families for profit

Stay informed on many issues at the Mad America Blog on http://www.everythingwestern.net/

Any attorney will tell you that custody and child support are two different issues that should not be considered together. The truth is far different, however.

As we all know, child support is based on income and how much time the children spend with each parent. In most states, support is determine based on the share income model, whereby all income is pooled and then split, with support being paid to the parent who has the most custody time and/or lesser income. The closer each parent has to equal time, the less child support is due. So how does this affect the shared parenting movement and fathers gaining more custody?

First, we have to understand a few realities. Child support is determined by judges that are supposed to follow state guidelines. Judges and all of the support staff that prepare support orders and enact collection procedures are paid by the state. The state is funded by Federal grants that are determined by these 5 things:

(A) The paternity establishment performance level.
B) The support order performance level.
(C) The current payment performance level.
(D) The arrearage payment performance level.
(E) The cost–effectiveness performance level.

Let’s take these one at a time and discuss how they impact share parenting and other custody arrangements.

(A) Paternity establishment.—

(i) Determination of paternity establishment performance level.—
The paternity establishment performance level for a State for a fiscal year is, at the option of the State, the IV-D paternity establishment percentage determined under section 452(g)(2)(A) or the statewide paternity establishment percentage determined under section 452(g)(2)(B).

Now, remember that custody and child support are handled separately in court. So, this section of the code is encouraging states to find fathers and determine paternity. Why? So they can collect child support, with nothing in the code to encourage that the newly identified father receive custody or even visitation from a woman who may not have even told them she was pregnant.

Further why is there no code for vigilantly enforcing child support orders against mothers? There are plenty of single fathers not receiving child support, yet you’ll not soon see stories about deadbeat mothers (despite the reality that mothers who are ordered to pay child support default in whole or in part at a percentage much higher than fathers).

(B) Establishment of child support orders.—

(i) Determination of support order performance level.—The support order performance level for a State for a fiscal year is the percentage of the total number of cases under the State plan approved under this part in which there is a support order during the fiscal year.

Did you read that?The more cases in which child support is ordered, the more money the state receives. It’s in the states’ best interests, and the best interests of the workers of the state (the ones that are judging and deciding how much custody you get) to keep one parent out of the picture in order to maximize the number of child support dollars.

(C) Collections on current child support due.—

(i) Determination of current payment performance level.—The current payment performance level for a State for a fiscal year is equal to the total amount of current support collected during the fiscal year under the State plan approved under this part divided by the total amount of current support owed during the fiscal year in all cases under the State plan, expressed as a percentage.

So, now that the state has forced a child support order, rather than making sure the children have equal access to both parents, the state has only assured that they are going to benefit by how much child support they actually collect. Is there anyone who doesn’t already know that children with two parents in their lives fair better than those raised by mothers alone?

This is the reason fathers, in the overwhelming majority of cases, go to jail for failure to pay child support. Meanwhile, nothing happens to mothers who withhold or deny visitation because the court has no financial incentive to hold mothers to custody agreements/orders.

(D) Collections on child support arrearages.—

(i) Determination of arrearage payment performance level.—The arrearage payment performance level for a State for a fiscal year is equal to the total number of cases under the State plan approved under this part in which payments of past–due child support were received during the fiscal year and part or all of the payments were distributed to the family to whom the past–due child support was owed (or, if all past–due child support owed to the family was, at the time of receipt, subject to an assignment to the State, part or all of the payments were retained by the State) divided by the total number of cases under the State plan in which there is past–due child support, expressed as a percentage.

As we’ve seen in many recent child support cases, arrearages are being assessed by recalculating back support orders, or even awarding attorneys fees, even when involved in contempt issues which are completely separate from support orders. The arrearages then count towards additional financial incentives the states receive. It’s in their best interests to stick non-custodial parents with as many fees as possible, rolling them into “child support orders,” in order to have the largest arrearages possible.

(E) Cost–effectiveness.—

(i) Determination of cost-effectiveness performance level.—The cost-effectiveness performance level for a State for a fiscal year is equal to the total amount collected during the fiscal year under the State plan approved under this part divided by the total amount expended during the fiscal year under the State plan, expressed as a ratio.
and

(c) Treatment of Interstate Collections.—In computing incentive payments under this section, support which is collected by a State at the request of another State shall be treated as having been collected in full by both States, and any amounts expended by a State in carrying out a special project assisted under section 455(e) shall be excluded.

While this sort of makes sense from a fiscal perspective, the results of the procedures that are put into place have a far-reaching effect on non-custodial parents and even businesses. For instance, numerous states are now switching to mandatory employment withholding instead of only enforcing this with NCP’s that are behind on child support. In one state where we have clients, this has created a nightmare with small businesses. Each month the state creates a monthly CS bill that is due, even though the actual CS is taken out partially from each paycheck. This creates an artificial “arrearage” on paper even though the NCP isn’t actually behind on child support payments. The employer has to do additional paperwork to process the arrearage. At the end of the month, when the payor is caught up, the business receives another automatic modification notice removing the extra payment for the arrearage. At the beginning of the next month, the client’s child support account is charged for the forthcoming month’s child support. This means they are “behind” and the cycle starts all over again for HR managers across the state.

The second portion of this code affects of lot NCP’s who have moved for work or even to follow the custodial parent after they moved-away with the children. Courts will not relinquish custody cases to new states or counties without a huge fight, because then they will not be able to collect all of those child support related monetary incentives. Of course, the new state wants that money, so they decided to just count it for both states which gives your new state incentive to jail NCP’s and enforce other harshly punitive measures against the child support payor for failure to pay child support.

Is it any wonder why shared parenting is not the norm in the U.S. despite the fact that everyone knows children having both parents in their lives is the best situation possible when it’s logistically feasible and there are no provable issues related to one (or both) parents in terms of their parental fitness? If states pass and enforce shared parenting laws, they stand to lose millions of dollars. Nationwide it is more than a $4-BILLION INDUSTRY! Yes, it’s an industry.

In 2008, the child support incentive fund was $483,000,000 and the fund paid for 66% of state workers compensation. If states lost this money, 66% of the money funding those benefits would vanish. The people who administer those programs would likely start losing jobs without that funding. Does anyone really believe that those individuals would vote in favor of other people’s children, when their own livelihoods depend on the income stream that results from these orders?

States earn money by taking one parent out of their children’s lives. It’s time to gather, organize, and help make the plans necessary to change this madness that not only hurts individual families and children - it hurts society at-large.

Courts destroy children

A father who was taken to court by his 12-year-old daughter after he grounded her in has lost his appeal.
Superior Court rejected the father's appeal of a lower court ruling that said his punishment was too severe for the wrongs he said his daughter committed.
Unbelievable!
In its ruling the court of appeal declared the girl was caught up in a "very rare" set of circumstances, and her father didn't have sufficient grounds to contest the court's earlier decision.
The family's legal wrangling started with a dispute over the girl's internet use.
She had been living with her father after her parents split up when he grounded her for defying his order to stay off the internet. The father caught her chatting on websites he had blocked, and alleged his daughter was posting "inappropriate pictures" of herself online. Pay attention, she is a 12 year old girl with a caring and concerned father!
Her punishment: she was banned from her Grade 6 graduation trip, for which her mother had already granted permission. (doesn’t live with mother)
The father who had custody, withheld his written permission for the trip, prompting the school to refuse to let the girl go with her classmates.
That's when the girl asked for help from the lawyer who represented her in her parents' separation, and petitioned the court to intervene in her case. (because she was grounded for disobeying her father) (not beaten, not rejected…GROUNDED!)
"Going to court was a last resort," said the attorney who represented the girl. The question was that there was a problem between the father and the mother, and the child asked the court to intervene because it was important to her.
"The trip was very important to her." A 12 year old girl that deserved to be grounded, and a stupid attorney took her case?
The legal battle destroyed father-daughter relationship.
A lower court ruled in the girl's favor. She went on the trip, but her father appealed the decision on the principle of the matter.
The girl who now lives with her mother, (who will let the little brat do whatever she wants) doesn't have much of a relationship with her dad now. (Go figure, that is what happens when the non custodial parent does not support the custodial parent…ever heard of parental alienation, it's the willful rape of a childs mind!)
We went from a child who wanted to live with her father, and after all this has been done, they're not speaking anymore.
I believe the ruling reflects a loss of any morality in the court system.
Is this what we want in our society? Laws are supposed to reflect our values. And if the courts aren't reflecting that, maybe it’s time; we the citizens take back control of the courts from the corrupt Judges and Evil Money Grabbing Attorneys that control them!
In its ruling, the appeal court warned the case should not be seen as an open invitation for children to take legal action every time they're grounded. Really, just what kind of precedent does the court think this ruling sets?
Doesn’t matter, fact is now, the father has no authority over this child anymore. She sued him (a 12 year old kid) because she doesn't respect his rules. It's very hard to raise a child who is the boss.
What have we done…and what are we doing to our children?

Crazy ex Wives

Recently I have been asked many questions about Bi-polar Disorder and other signs of mental illness.
Because of an ex-wife, I have had the need to do extensive research in this area and below are some answers to the common questions.
I have included them on this blog for the benefit of my many followers.

I pray for you and hope this information is a starting point for you.

Most of you will need to go back and view the 7 posts on the April Blog dealing with parental alienation.

BPD is characterized by a pervasive pattern of unstable relationships, self-image, emotions and impulse control. Individuals with BPD may present with a combination of difficulties that often include depression, anxiety, post-traumatic symptoms, substance abuse and/or eating disorders. These conditions can manifest themselves through recurring fears of abandonment, angry outbursts, identity disturbances, self-damaging behavior or suicidality, intolerance of being alone and/or chronic feelings of emptiness

Raising questions, finding answers
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior. This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity. Originally thought to be at the "borderline" of psychosis, people with BPD suffer from a disorder of emotion regulation. While less well known than schizophrenia or bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness), BPD is more common, affecting 2 percent of adults, mostly young women.1 There is a high rate of self-injury without suicide intent, as well as a significant rate of suicide attempts and completed suicide in severe cases.2,3 Patients often need extensive mental health services, and account for 20 percent of psychiatric hospitalizations.4 Yet, with help, many improve over time and are eventually able to lead productive lives.
Symptoms
While a person with depression or bipolar disorder typically endures the same mood for weeks, a person with BPD may experience intense bouts of anger, depression, and anxiety that may last only hours, or at most a day.5 These may be associated with episodes of impulsive aggression, self-injury, and drug or alcohol abuse. Distortions in cognition and sense of self can lead to frequent changes in long-term goals, career plans, jobs, friendships, gender identity, and values. Sometimes people with BPD view themselves as fundamentally bad, or unworthy. They may feel unfairly misunderstood or mistreated, bored, empty, and have little idea who they are. Such symptoms are most acute when people with BPD feel isolated and lacking in social support, and may result in frantic efforts to avoid being alone.
People with BPD often have highly unstable patterns of social relationships. While they can develop intense but stormy attachments, their attitudes towards family, friends, and loved ones may suddenly shift from idealization (great admiration and love) to devaluation (intense anger and dislike). Thus, they may form an immediate attachment and idealize the other person, but when a slight separation or conflict occurs, they switch unexpectedly to the other extreme and angrily accuse the other person of not caring for them at all. Even with family members, individuals with BPD are highly sensitive to rejection, reacting with anger and distress to such mild separations as a vacation, a business trip, or a sudden change in plans. These fears of abandonment seem to be related to difficulties feeling emotionally connected to important persons when they are physically absent, leaving the individual with BPD feeling lost and perhaps worthless. Suicide threats and attempts may occur along with anger at perceived abandonment and disappointments.
People with BPD exhibit other impulsive behaviors, such as excessive spending, binge eating and risky sex. BPD often occurs together with other psychiatric problems, particularly bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety disorders, substance abuse, and other personality disorders.
Treatment
Treatments for BPD have improved in recent years. Group and individual psychotherapy are at least partially effective for many patients. Within the past 15 years, a new psychosocial treatment termed dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) was developed specifically to treat BPD, and this technique has looked promising in treatment studies.6 Pharmacological treatments are often prescribed based on specific target symptoms shown by the individual patient. Antidepressant drugs and mood stabilizers may be helpful for depressed and/or labile mood. Antipsychotic drugs may also be used when there are distortions in thinking.7
Recent Research Findings
Although the cause of BPD is unknown, both environmental and genetic factors are thought to play a role in predisposing patients to BPD symptoms and traits. Studies show that many, but not all individuals with BPD report a history of abuse, neglect, or separation as young children.8 Forty to 71 percent of BPD patients report having been sexually abused, usually by a non-caregiver.9 Researchers believe that BPD results from a combination of individual vulnerability to environmental stress, neglect or abuse as young children, and a series of events that trigger the onset of the disorder as young adults. Adults with BPD are also considerably more likely to be the victim of violence, including rape and other crimes. This may result from both harmful environments as well as impulsivity and poor judgement in choosing partners and lifestyles.
NIMH-funded neuroscience research is revealing brain mechanisms underlying the impulsivity, mood instability, aggression, anger, and negative emotion seen in BPD. Studies suggest that people predisposed to impulsive aggression have impaired regulation of the neural circuits that modulate emotion.10 The amygdala, a small almond-shaped structure deep inside the brain, is an important component of the circuit that regulates negative emotion. In response to signals from other brain centers indicating a perceived threat, it marshals fear and arousal. This might be more pronounced under the influence of drugs like alcohol, or stress. Areas in the front of the brain (pre-frontal area) act to dampen the activity of this circuit. Recent brain imaging studies show that individual differences in the ability to activate regions of the prefrontal cerebral cortex thought to be involved in inhibitory activity predict the ability to suppress negative emotion.11
Serotonin, norepinephrine and acetylcholine are among the chemical messengers in these circuits that play a role in the regulation of emotions, including sadness, anger, anxiety, and irritability. Drugs that enhance brain serotonin function may improve emotional symptoms in BPD. Likewise, mood-stabilizing drugs that are known to enhance the activity of GABA, the brain's major inhibitory neurotransmitter, may help people who experience BPD-like mood swings. Such brain-based vulnerabilities can be managed with help from behavioral interventions and medications, much like people manage susceptibility to diabetes or high blood pressure.7
References
1Swartz M, Blazer D, George L, Winfield I. Estimating the prevalence of borderline personality disorder in the community. Journal of Personality Disorders, 1990; 4(3): 257-72.
2Soloff PH, Lis JA, Kelly T, Cornelius J, Ulrich R. Self-mutilation and suicidal behavior in borderline personality disorder. Journal of Personality Disorders, 1994; 8(4): 257-67.
3Gardner DL, Cowdry RW. Suicidal and parasuicidal behavior in borderline personality disorder. Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 1985; 8(2): 389-403.
4Zanarini MC, Frankenburg FR. Treatment histories of borderline inpatients. Comprehensive Psychiatry, in press.
5Zanarini MC, Frankenburg FR, DeLuca CJ, Hennen J, Khera GS, Gunderson JG. The pain of being borderline: dysphoric states specific to borderline personality disorder. Harvard Review of Psychiatry, 1998; 6(4): 201-7.
6Koerner K, Linehan MM. Research on dialectical behavior therapy for patients with borderline personality disorder. Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 2000; 23(1): 151-67.
7Siever LJ, Koenigsberg HW. The frustrating no-mans-land of borderline personality disorder. Cerebrum, The Dana Forum on Brain Science, 2000; 2(4).
8Zanarini MC, Frankenburg. Pathways to the development of borderline personality disorder. Journal of Personality Disorders, 1997; 11(1): 93-104.
9Zanarini MC. Childhood experiences associated with the development of borderline personality disorder. Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 2000; 23(1): 89-101.
10Davidson RJ, Jackson DC, Kalin NH. Emotion, plasticity, context and regulation: perspectives from affective neuroscience. Psychological Bulletin, 2000; 126(6): 873-89.
11Davidson RJ, Putnam KM, Larson CL. Dysfunction in the neural circuitry of emotion regulation - a possible prelude to violence. Science, 2000; 289(5479): 591-4.