Stress

Time magazine's June 6, 1983 cover story called stress "The Epidemic of the Eighties" and referred to it as our leading health problem; there can be little doubt that the situation has progressively worsened since then. Numerous surveys confirm that adult Americans perceive they are under much more stress than a decade or two ago. A 1996 Prevention magazine survey found that almost 75% feel they have "great stress" one day a week with one out of three indicating they feel this way more than twice a week. In the same 1983 survey only 55% said they felt under great stress on a weekly basis. It has been estimated that 75 - 90 percent of all visits to primary care physicians are for stress related problems. Job Stress is far and away the leading source of stress for adults but stress levels have also escalated in children, teenagers, college students and the elderly for other reasons, including: increased crime, violence and other threats to personal safety; pernicious peer pressures that lead to substance abuse and other unhealthy life style habits; social isolation and loneliness; the erosion of family and religious values and ties; the loss of other strong sources of social support that are powerful stress busters.

Step Mother's Bill of Rights

With Mothers Day right around the corner I thought it would be helpfull to have some suggestions for all of you involved in any way with a Stepmother.

You see, most of the "rights' outlined below I have already come to decide (even demand at times) for myself but only after many tears, arguments and a lot of very hard feelings, hopefully my marriage is strong enough to survive having had to live each and every experience listed below. No one should (stepmoms) ever have to be put in a situation where these Step Mom's Bill of Rights is ever taken for granted.
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1. I will be part of the decision-making process in my marriage and family at all times.
2. People outside the immediate family - including ex-wives, in-laws and adult children - cannot make plans that affect my life or plans without my consent.
3. I will not be responsible for the welfare of children for whom I can set no limits or boundaries.
4. I must be consulted about which children will live with us, when they can visit and how long they will stay.
5. I will not be solely responsible for housework; chores will be distributed fairly and equally.
6.I will be consulted regarding all family financial matters.
7. Others may not violate my private space at home, nor take or use my possessions without my permission ever.
8.I will never be treated as an "outsider" in my own home.
9. My husband and stepchildren must treat me with respect.
10. Our marriage is our very first priority, and we will address all issues together.

How to Make Friends With a Step-Son in 5 Steps

How to Make Friends With a Step-Son in 5 Steps

Whether your step-son is 3 or 16, you have challenges to overcome when starting a relationship with him. You can save everyone a lot of grief by being friends with him from the first meeting. As an adult, your example and the leadership of your husband can make the difference between a step-son who rebels and causes problems for everyone in the family, or one who learns respect, responsibility and fairness.

Being a mother is the single most demanding and difficult job you will ever have, but being a step mother is even more difficult and can be really challenging for you emotionally and can even affect your marriage if you and your husband are not on the same page with regards to child rearing and discipline.

Step 1 Use positive reinforcement with your step-son.

Step 2 Give him space when you think he needs it.

Step 3 Support his interests.

Step 4 Find ways to spend quality time together.

Step 5 Make sure he spends time alone with your spouse. Suggest activities they can do together.

Tips & Warnings
Never speak unkindly of his bio mom no matter how difficult she makes your life.
Make friends by recognizing his achievements.
Avoid nagging.
Insist your husband parent and discipline his own children.

You may suffer a backlash if your stepson has an insecure bio mom with mental health issues. There should be no ransom held on love, but unfortunately if you find yourself in a situation with a mentally unstable bio mom you may consider obtaining professional help from a child psychologist.