Well, well, well...........,now I find myself turning 50 years old.
Amazing that I have even lived this long.
I grew up the youngest child by almost 10 years, the third in the family, living as an "only child" but not able to enjoy the benifits of being an only child! I grew up very quickly after we moved from a very rural area of southern Idaho into the big city of Portland. It was necessary to learn the ways of the evil world at a very young age, to watch and be warry, to trust no-one.
But with all that said, most of my life growing up was spent in very remote areas of southern Idaho and Eastern Oregon, far removed from the big-city lifestyle and dangers.
The dangers I faced were perhaps maybe even more dangerous... situations of life and death, facing the "Natural process of Elimination" from the gene pool.
One mistake with a wild horse, an angry cow or a mad bull and you can be permanently dissabled or dead, one mistake with irrigation, haying equipment, tractors etc. and you can suffer the same fate.
Then of course there were the wild rides, 4 - Wheeling, rock climbing, swimming in dangerous canals, the down to the wire races in fast cars and on fast horses.... All and so much more could have ended my life at any moment.
Was I an adrenalen "Junkie"...? Of course I was!! I was a thrill seeker from day one, and yet here I am 50 years later, "mostly" intact.
One thing about your "Golden Years" is that you some how begin to loose "Body Parts", as if they were disposible? Anyway, a cut here, a nip there and viola, your put back together again!
I've had my 50 thousand mile overhaul and am ready for another 50 thousand miles !
Oh, I've had mishaps and misfortunes like everyone has, I've suffered heartache, heartbreak and worried myself sick over my children, grandchildren, lost loves and present loves, but it's been a great ride, one that I'd do all over again.
I wouldn't change a thing.... well, except for the hurtful words spoken to my children, even though I was trying to protect them from "Themselves" at the time, the harsh words must have been such a terrible blow, I've regretted saying them a hundred thousand times if it's been once.....
At 50 you come to accept things as they truly are, not as you wished they were, but just as they are. That doesn't mean you like how things are necessarily, just that you are ok with it, that life happens, and how even with the best of intentions and hard work... sometimes it just doesn't turn out like you hoped it would.
And that has to be "OK", I have to trust that GOD has a plan for the future, a plan that is for GOOD and not EVIL. That is the only way I can have peace and look forward to the "Next" 50 Years!
Nothing ever stays the same......
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Dealing with Parental Alienation
It has come to our attention that the effects of Parental Alienation can be extremely damaging to children and families alike, our goal is to inform and educate, give resources and help you find ways to protect your children from the harmfull effects of parental alienation.
We would like to open the blog to your comments and suggestions for our users.
Our children deserve to be treated with dignity and respect,
The Honorable Judge Gomery of Canada stated, "Hatred is not an emotion that comes naturally to a child. It has to be taught. A parent who would teach a child to hate the other parent represents a grave and persistent danger to the mental and emotional health of that child."
In severe PAS the child is often fanatic or obsessional in his/her hatred of the target parent. For this reason alone the PAS-inducing parent no longer needs to be active, although the PAS-inducing parent will resort to anything to prevent the child maintaining a relationship with the targeted parent. The child takes on the PAS-inducing parent's desires, emotions and hatreds and verbalises them all as its own. The child views the history of the targeted parent and the targeted parent's family as all negative and is unable to either remember or express any positive feelings for the target parent..
The child is very likely to refuse Contact, make false allegations of abuse, threaten to run away, threaten to commit suicide or even murder - if forced to see the targeted parent. The PAS-inducing parent will hold little or no value for the targeted parent and hatred may be completely overt.. The child and the alienating parent have a pathological bond that is invariably based on shared paranoid fantasies of the targeted parent, sometimes to the point of folie a deux.
What Does a Severely Alienated Child look like?
They have a relentless hatred for towards the targeted parent.
They parrot the Obsessed Alienator.
The child does not want to visit or spend any time with the targeted parent.
Many of the child's beliefs are enmeshed with the alienator.
The beliefs are delusional and frequently irrational.
They are not intimidated by the court.
Frequently, their reasons are not based on personal experiences with the targeted parent but reflect what they are told by the Obsessed Alienator. They have difficulty making any differentiate between the two.
The child has no ambivalence in his feelings; it's all hatred with no ability to see the good.
They have no capacity to feel guilty about how they behave towards the targeted parent or forgive any past indiscretions.
They share the Obsessed Alienators cause. Together, they are in lockstep to denigrate the hated parent.
The children's obsessional hatred extends to the targeted parent's extended family without any guilt or remorse.
They can appear like normal healthy children until asked about the targeted parent that triggers their hatred.
Children in the severe category are generally quite disturbed and are usually fanatic. They join together with their alienating parent in a folie à deux relationship in which they share her paranoid fantasies about the alienated parent. All eight of the primary symptomatic manifestations are likely to be present to a significant degree, even more prominent than in the moderate category. Children in this category may become panic-stricken over the prospect of visiting with their alienated parent. Their blood-curdling shrieks, panicked states, and rage outbursts may be so severe that visitation is impossible. If placed in the alienated parent's home they may run away, become paralyzed with morbid fear, or may become so continuously provocative and so destructive that removal becomes necessary. Unlike children in the moderate and mild categories, their panic and hostility may not be reduced in the alienated parent's home, even when separated from their alienating parents for significant periods. Whereas in the mild and moderate categories the children's primary motive is to strengthen the stronger, healthy psychological bond with the alienating parent, in the severe category the psychological bond with the alienating parent is pathological (often paranoid) and the symptoms serve to strengthen this pathological bond.
We would like to open the blog to your comments and suggestions for our users.
Our children deserve to be treated with dignity and respect,
The Honorable Judge Gomery of Canada stated, "Hatred is not an emotion that comes naturally to a child. It has to be taught. A parent who would teach a child to hate the other parent represents a grave and persistent danger to the mental and emotional health of that child."
In severe PAS the child is often fanatic or obsessional in his/her hatred of the target parent. For this reason alone the PAS-inducing parent no longer needs to be active, although the PAS-inducing parent will resort to anything to prevent the child maintaining a relationship with the targeted parent. The child takes on the PAS-inducing parent's desires, emotions and hatreds and verbalises them all as its own. The child views the history of the targeted parent and the targeted parent's family as all negative and is unable to either remember or express any positive feelings for the target parent..
The child is very likely to refuse Contact, make false allegations of abuse, threaten to run away, threaten to commit suicide or even murder - if forced to see the targeted parent. The PAS-inducing parent will hold little or no value for the targeted parent and hatred may be completely overt.. The child and the alienating parent have a pathological bond that is invariably based on shared paranoid fantasies of the targeted parent, sometimes to the point of folie a deux.
What Does a Severely Alienated Child look like?
They have a relentless hatred for towards the targeted parent.
They parrot the Obsessed Alienator.
The child does not want to visit or spend any time with the targeted parent.
Many of the child's beliefs are enmeshed with the alienator.
The beliefs are delusional and frequently irrational.
They are not intimidated by the court.
Frequently, their reasons are not based on personal experiences with the targeted parent but reflect what they are told by the Obsessed Alienator. They have difficulty making any differentiate between the two.
The child has no ambivalence in his feelings; it's all hatred with no ability to see the good.
They have no capacity to feel guilty about how they behave towards the targeted parent or forgive any past indiscretions.
They share the Obsessed Alienators cause. Together, they are in lockstep to denigrate the hated parent.
The children's obsessional hatred extends to the targeted parent's extended family without any guilt or remorse.
They can appear like normal healthy children until asked about the targeted parent that triggers their hatred.
Children in the severe category are generally quite disturbed and are usually fanatic. They join together with their alienating parent in a folie à deux relationship in which they share her paranoid fantasies about the alienated parent. All eight of the primary symptomatic manifestations are likely to be present to a significant degree, even more prominent than in the moderate category. Children in this category may become panic-stricken over the prospect of visiting with their alienated parent. Their blood-curdling shrieks, panicked states, and rage outbursts may be so severe that visitation is impossible. If placed in the alienated parent's home they may run away, become paralyzed with morbid fear, or may become so continuously provocative and so destructive that removal becomes necessary. Unlike children in the moderate and mild categories, their panic and hostility may not be reduced in the alienated parent's home, even when separated from their alienating parents for significant periods. Whereas in the mild and moderate categories the children's primary motive is to strengthen the stronger, healthy psychological bond with the alienating parent, in the severe category the psychological bond with the alienating parent is pathological (often paranoid) and the symptoms serve to strengthen this pathological bond.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
5 Great Conversation Secrets
By Marcy Barack;
The best thing is to ignore what's going on around you and concentrate on the person at hand. If you show that you are interested, you'll be surprised at how quickly people open up. To get the ball rolling, here are five practical principles for starting a conversation when you don't know what to say.
Flattery will get you everywhere. Make with the compliments to begin on a positive note. People are inclined to think well of you if you indicate you think well of them. The trick is picking out what to compliment without including some kind of sexual connotation.
Props. Women work hard choosing their accessories, and anyone who notices wins points. "Those shoes are sensational. Are they comfortable?" Check out a guy's tie, glasses and watch. Look at his feet. I have a mild-mannered cousin who indulges himself by choosing socks with wild patterns. Always carry a book or newspaper. Then, if your new acquaintance doesn't have anything obvious to remark on, you have, "Have you read this?"
Redirection. People love to share their enthusiasm for their hobbies. If you meet someone jogging, see if you can spark some shoptalk. And vice versa. If you're at work, try asking your date what he or she does to relax. Try to discover what is not obvious—the mind in the sexy blonde, the animal in the geek.
Ask more than yes/no questions. A question demands a response, which is the essence of conversational give-and-take. But a yes/no query can bog you down in a monosyllables. Think like a reporter: Ask who, what, when, where and why. Instead of, "Did you see the latest Robert Downey, Jr. movie?" try, "What did you think of it?"
Listen, really listen, to the other person. Shy people who have trouble making conversation are so anxious about what they are going to say next that they don't listen to what the other person says. Every answer to your intriguing questions opens up new conversational avenues to explore. Follow up on those leads. As an added bonus, the more you concentrate on the other person, the less your palms will sweat, the fewer words for you to stumble over. And your new acquaintance is bound to be charmed by your astute appreciation of his or her own sterling qualities.Marcy Barack is a freelance writer who often covers relationship issues.
The best thing is to ignore what's going on around you and concentrate on the person at hand. If you show that you are interested, you'll be surprised at how quickly people open up. To get the ball rolling, here are five practical principles for starting a conversation when you don't know what to say.
Flattery will get you everywhere. Make with the compliments to begin on a positive note. People are inclined to think well of you if you indicate you think well of them. The trick is picking out what to compliment without including some kind of sexual connotation.
Props. Women work hard choosing their accessories, and anyone who notices wins points. "Those shoes are sensational. Are they comfortable?" Check out a guy's tie, glasses and watch. Look at his feet. I have a mild-mannered cousin who indulges himself by choosing socks with wild patterns. Always carry a book or newspaper. Then, if your new acquaintance doesn't have anything obvious to remark on, you have, "Have you read this?"
Redirection. People love to share their enthusiasm for their hobbies. If you meet someone jogging, see if you can spark some shoptalk. And vice versa. If you're at work, try asking your date what he or she does to relax. Try to discover what is not obvious—the mind in the sexy blonde, the animal in the geek.
Ask more than yes/no questions. A question demands a response, which is the essence of conversational give-and-take. But a yes/no query can bog you down in a monosyllables. Think like a reporter: Ask who, what, when, where and why. Instead of, "Did you see the latest Robert Downey, Jr. movie?" try, "What did you think of it?"
Listen, really listen, to the other person. Shy people who have trouble making conversation are so anxious about what they are going to say next that they don't listen to what the other person says. Every answer to your intriguing questions opens up new conversational avenues to explore. Follow up on those leads. As an added bonus, the more you concentrate on the other person, the less your palms will sweat, the fewer words for you to stumble over. And your new acquaintance is bound to be charmed by your astute appreciation of his or her own sterling qualities.Marcy Barack is a freelance writer who often covers relationship issues.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
$26 Million to feed horses no one wants???
Bonnie Matton, president of the Wild Horse Preservation League, wasn't happy when the U.S. Bureau of Land Management (BLM) announced that it might consider euthanasia as a means to manage wild horse herds, but she wasn't surprised, either.
"They're between a rock and a hard place," said Matton, whose Dayton, Nev. nonprofit group advocates on behalf of wild horse issues. "These herds need management, but it's expensive and the BLM's budget can't keep up."
"We have tried to sell only to people willing to make a long-term commitment. That may change." --Tom Gorey, BLM spokesman
According to BLM spokesman Tom Gorey, wild horse herds double every four years. There are currently 33,000 wild horses on the range, mostly in Nevada. Meanwhile 30,000 horses reside in long or short-term holding facilities, depending upon their age and adoption potential.
Next year's costs for maintaining horses at holding facilities are projected to account for $26 million of the agency's budget.
"There is no fertility control method we could use effectively, and if we don't manage the herd population, there will be negative environmental impact on forage and on wildlife," he said.
"They're between a rock and a hard place," said Matton, whose Dayton, Nev. nonprofit group advocates on behalf of wild horse issues. "These herds need management, but it's expensive and the BLM's budget can't keep up."
"We have tried to sell only to people willing to make a long-term commitment. That may change." --Tom Gorey, BLM spokesman
According to BLM spokesman Tom Gorey, wild horse herds double every four years. There are currently 33,000 wild horses on the range, mostly in Nevada. Meanwhile 30,000 horses reside in long or short-term holding facilities, depending upon their age and adoption potential.
Next year's costs for maintaining horses at holding facilities are projected to account for $26 million of the agency's budget.
"There is no fertility control method we could use effectively, and if we don't manage the herd population, there will be negative environmental impact on forage and on wildlife," he said.
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