Thursday, December 18, 2008

Turning 50

Well, well, well...........,now I find myself turning 50 years old.
Amazing that I have even lived this long.
I grew up the youngest child by almost 10 years, the third in the family, living as an "only child" but not able to enjoy the benifits of being an only child! I grew up very quickly after we moved from a very rural area of southern Idaho into the big city of Portland. It was necessary to learn the ways of the evil world at a very young age, to watch and be warry, to trust no-one.

But with all that said, most of my life growing up was spent in very remote areas of southern Idaho and Eastern Oregon, far removed from the big-city lifestyle and dangers.

The dangers I faced were perhaps maybe even more dangerous... situations of life and death, facing the "Natural process of Elimination" from the gene pool.
One mistake with a wild horse, an angry cow or a mad bull and you can be permanently dissabled or dead, one mistake with irrigation, haying equipment, tractors etc. and you can suffer the same fate.
Then of course there were the wild rides, 4 - Wheeling, rock climbing, swimming in dangerous canals, the down to the wire races in fast cars and on fast horses.... All and so much more could have ended my life at any moment.

Was I an adrenalen "Junkie"...? Of course I was!! I was a thrill seeker from day one, and yet here I am 50 years later, "mostly" intact.

One thing about your "Golden Years" is that you some how begin to loose "Body Parts", as if they were disposible? Anyway, a cut here, a nip there and viola, your put back together again!

I've had my 50 thousand mile overhaul and am ready for another 50 thousand miles !

Oh, I've had mishaps and misfortunes like everyone has, I've suffered heartache, heartbreak and worried myself sick over my children, grandchildren, lost loves and present loves, but it's been a great ride, one that I'd do all over again.

I wouldn't change a thing.... well, except for the hurtful words spoken to my children, even though I was trying to protect them from "Themselves" at the time, the harsh words must have been such a terrible blow, I've regretted saying them a hundred thousand times if it's been once.....

At 50 you come to accept things as they truly are, not as you wished they were, but just as they are. That doesn't mean you like how things are necessarily, just that you are ok with it, that life happens, and how even with the best of intentions and hard work... sometimes it just doesn't turn out like you hoped it would.

And that has to be "OK", I have to trust that GOD has a plan for the future, a plan that is for GOOD and not EVIL. That is the only way I can have peace and look forward to the "Next" 50 Years!

Nothing ever stays the same......