Tuesday, May 5, 2009

How to Make Friends With a Step-Son in 5 Steps

How to Make Friends With a Step-Son in 5 Steps

Whether your step-son is 3 or 16, you have challenges to overcome when starting a relationship with him. You can save everyone a lot of grief by being friends with him from the first meeting. As an adult, your example and the leadership of your husband can make the difference between a step-son who rebels and causes problems for everyone in the family, or one who learns respect, responsibility and fairness.

Being a mother is the single most demanding and difficult job you will ever have, but being a step mother is even more difficult and can be really challenging for you emotionally and can even affect your marriage if you and your husband are not on the same page with regards to child rearing and discipline.

Step 1 Use positive reinforcement with your step-son.

Step 2 Give him space when you think he needs it.

Step 3 Support his interests.

Step 4 Find ways to spend quality time together.

Step 5 Make sure he spends time alone with your spouse. Suggest activities they can do together.

Tips & Warnings
Never speak unkindly of his bio mom no matter how difficult she makes your life.
Make friends by recognizing his achievements.
Avoid nagging.
Insist your husband parent and discipline his own children.

You may suffer a backlash if your stepson has an insecure bio mom with mental health issues. There should be no ransom held on love, but unfortunately if you find yourself in a situation with a mentally unstable bio mom you may consider obtaining professional help from a child psychologist.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Being a step mom has to be a hard job. Love them and their mother gets mad that you are trying to steal them away from her. Don't love them and you are just an evil step parent. Hmmm, hard spot for so many people to be in.
All you step moms and dads. hang in there! Time will heal what needs to be healed