World's Shortest Books

MY BLACK GIRLFRIENDS

By Tiger Woods

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THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY 
By Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan
Illustrated by Michael Moore

Foreword by George Soros

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MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS

& HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA
By Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton
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THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL 
By Hillary Clinton
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Sequel: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
By Bill Clinton
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THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
By Bill Gates
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THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
By Dennis Rodman
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THINGS WE KNOW TO BE TRUE
By Al Gore & John Kerry

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GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC

By Amelia Earhart

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HOW TO LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST
By Dr. Jack Kevorkian
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TO ALL THE MEN WE HAVE LOVED BEFORE 
By Ellen de Generes & Rosie O'Donnell

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GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
By Mike Tyson
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THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY

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MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
By O. J. Simpson
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HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE SAFELY
By Ted Kennedy

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MY BOOK OF MORALS 
By Bill Clinton
With introduction by

The Rev. Jesse Jackson

and foreward by

Tiger Woods with John Edwards

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HOW TO WIN A SUPERBOWL

BY THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS

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AND, JUST ADDED:

My Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy

By Nancy Pelosi

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And the shortest book of them all......................

THINGS I DID TO DESERVE THE NOBEL PEACE 

City Dwellers are everywhere!

CITY DWELLERS

I handed the teller at my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00 I said, "May I have large bills, please?”

She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."
I paused a long time and then I had to explain it to her... city dwellers…

CITY DWELLERS

When my wife and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side. '
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS …not only are they real but they breed and vote!

CITY DWELLERS

We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Mr, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used Sears repair since….and breed and breed and breed

CITY DWELLERS
My grandson  and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.
She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said, 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at Mickey D’s

CITY DWELLERS

I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor (city dweller)  call the local township administrative office
to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore." ….and breed and breed and…..


CITY DWELLERS IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce…….perhaps, Obama’s relative


CITY DWELLERS
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.' ….hmmm

CITY DWELLERS
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS ……………….CITY DWELLERS

STAY ALERT!  CITY DWELLERS ARE EVERYWHERE!!!!

The View, Behar and Liberals

OK, so I have never watched this show and never will. Still, I have seen and have been sent clips to (view). The one with Bill O was great as he  just puts it out there and the libs freak out...walk off and refuse any intelligent conversation about the issue.
It is very typical the left wing. Moderates really don't have the spine to make such forceful statements. They, just like Barbra did, just set there and go with the flow. Then look for an opportunity or place to seek middle ground, (view) themselves as above the fray. Hmmm, kinda going off on them today...I just detest people who don't stand up and take a position before they test the wind.


Off track here...this blog is about Liberals and their hypocritical  stances.
Here a liberal, not just on social issues but a full blown crazy left wind nut kind of liberal, attacking the Bible. She says the Bible causes bulling and that it is just terrible. It is a short clip but she just goes off on how bad Christians are.







Below shows how that very open minded, tolerant woman views a person running for office in America, that she disagrees with.
How?
By calling her a bitch and challenging her to “come to New York and do it” and saying “she going to hell this bitch, she’s going to hell”.

There, there is a clear cut difference between Liberal ideas and conservative ideas and conduct. No wonder our school system is suffering so…