Stage 3 - A Severely Alienated Child of Parental Alienation SyndromeThe Honorable Judge Gomery of Canada stated, "Hatred is not an emotion that comes naturally to a child. It has to be taught. A parent who would teach a child to hate the other parent represents a grave and persistent danger to the mental and emotional health of that child."
A Severely Alienated Child of Parental Alienation Syndrome
Severe In severe PAS the child is often fanatic or obsessional in his/her hatred of the target parent. For this reason alone the PAS-inducing parent no longer needs to be active, although the PAS-inducing parent will resort to anything to prevent the child maintaining a relationship with the targeted parent. The child takes on the PAS-inducing parent's desires, emotions and hatreds and verbalises them all as its own. The child views the history of the targeted parent and the targeted parent's family as all negative and is unable to either remember or express any positive feelings for the target parent..
Stages of PAS
The child is very likely to refuse Contact, make false allegations of abuse, threaten to run away, threaten to commit suicide or even murder - if forced to see the targeted parent. The PAS-inducing parent will hold little or no value for the targeted parent and hatred may be completely overt.. The child and the alienating parent have a pathological bond that is invariably based on shared paranoid fantasies of the targeted parent, sometimes to the point of folie a deux.
What Does a Severely Alienated Child look like?
They have a relentless hatred for towards the targeted parent.
They parrot the Obsessed Alienator.
The child does not want to visit or spend any time with the targeted parent.
Many of the child's beliefs are enmeshed with the alienator.
The beliefs are delusional and frequently irrational.
They are not intimidated by the court.
Frequently, their reasons are not based on personal experiences with the targeted parent but reflect what they are told by the Obsessed Alienator. They have difficulty making any differentiate between the two.
The child has no ambivalence in his feelings; it's all hatred with no ability to see the good.
They have no capacity to feel guilty about how they behave towards the targeted parent or forgive any past indiscretions.
They share the Obsessed Alienators cause. Together, they are in lockstep to denigrate the hated parent.
The children's obsessional hatred extends to the targeted parent's extended family without any guilt or remorse.
They can appear like normal healthy children until asked about the targeted parent that triggers their hatred.
Children in the severe category are generally quite disturbed and are usually fanatic. They join together with their alienating parent in a folie à deux relationship in which they share her paranoid fantasies about the alienated parent. All eight of the primary symptomatic manifestations are likely to be present to a significant degree, even more prominent than in the moderate category. Children in this category may become panic-stricken over the prospect of visiting with their alienated parent. Their blood-curdling shrieks, panicked states, and rage outbursts may be so severe that visitation is impossible. If placed in the alienated parent's home they may run away, become paralyzed with morbid fear, or may become so continuously provocative and so destructive that removal becomes necessary. Unlike children in the moderate and mild categories, their panic and hostility may not be reduced in the alienated parent's home, even when separated from their alienating parents for significant periods. Whereas in the mild and moderate categories the children's primary motive is to strengthen the stronger, healthy psychological bond with the alienating parent, in the severe category the psychological bond with the alienating parent is pathological (often paranoid) and the symptoms serve to strengthen this pathological bond.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Obama Wants to Control the Banks
Obama and this administration will not stop until they have total control over your life!
Look at what they have done with the stealing of public lands, taking control over the auto industry and the banks.
They say it’s to rescue the American people.
At some point, it’s the people that will need rescued from the American government.
Follow the link to get the real perspective.
Look at what they have done with the stealing of public lands, taking control over the auto industry and the banks.
They say it’s to rescue the American people.
At some point, it’s the people that will need rescued from the American government.
Follow the link to get the real perspective.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Marriage the Next Time Around
Make Your Second Marriage a Success!
It’s a proven fact that second marriages suffer a divorce rate higher than first marriages because of a simple, yet serious mistakes that people make when they re-marry.
Psychology Today stated that “a whopping 60% of second marriages fail. And they do so even more quickly after an average of 10 years; 37% of second marriages have dissolved versus 30% of first marriages.”
If we are to learn anything from our first failed marriage it should be the fact that you need to re-marry with intense CAUTION. Here are several suggestions that will help you beat the odds of the second marriage divorce rate and make your second marriage a success:
1. Make Sure You REALLY Know Who You’re Marrying this time.....
Be sure that YOUR beliefs are equal with your spouse’s. And I’m not just talking about religion here. I’m also talking about your partner’s beliefs about making and saving money, disciplining step-children, love & affection, sex etc.
Being unable to agree about beliefs on subjects like these that will quickly put your relationship on the fast track to divorce.
Do not make the same mistakes you did in your first marriage.
2. Create a Check List of Issues that Led to Your Last Divorce
Write down every thing you and your ex fought about throughout your marriage. List even the little things because after a few years they become BIG THINGS!
Did you struggle with jealousy issues even though your spouse gave you no reason to be jealouse?
Did you and your ex have money problems in your marriage... Make a list of all the issues that contributed to your last divorce.
Those may seem like insignificant issues right now, but it is better to get everything out into the open BEFORE you are married...than to be sorry that you didn't later.
3. Don’t Rush Into your Second Marriage Because You’re Blinded By “Love”.
Research shows that the second marriage divorce rate greatly increases if you’ve been in a relationship with a person for less than a year. Do not make the mistake of thinking this research does not apply to you. As difficult as it may be to accept, these ARE the facts.
Few people are thinking straight if they remarry too quickly.
Though you may not want to hear this right now, romance is a very powerful “drug”. It will keep you in a trance like state right up until the moment you say I do…for the second time.
4. Again, I cannot emphasize this enough...Honestly Look at What Caused Your Last Divorce.
To beat the odds of the second marriage divorce rate, you MUST start to be honest with yourself. Understand that it was NOT just one issue or the other person that “caused” your last divorce, you were 1/2 of that failed marriage, accept your involvement in your failed marriage.
It is the clash of two OPPOSITE value systems that drives people to divorce.
Two opposite “values” or "belief's" can cause a variety of problems in a marriage like:
Internet porn-adultery
Infidelity
Over-sensitivity
Lack of intimacy
Excessive fighting
Confusing and unclear communication
Not enough quality time due to busy schedules
Unsolvable children issues
Inability to find the real source of conflicts
It's important to find out which issues caused conflict in your last marriage so you can openly discuss them with your partner.
There is no need to discuss ALL the details of your last marriage...not with your future spouse or your last spouse. If you are truly emotionally and legally divorced you will have no need to explain your failed marriage to your ex.
5. CLEARLY Understand Your Expectations of Each Other.
It is important to go into a second marriage with a clear understanding of what your needs are. Men and women’s expectations and needs are shockingly different, so be sure to talk openly and honestly about these needs BEFORE you get married the second time around.
If you REALLY want to beat the odds of the second marriage divorce rate and make this time around a success, you MUST understand the CRITICAL role that your and your spouse's belief systems take on in a marriage.
6. Wait to re-marry until you are over your divorce!
If you are in a constant battle with your ex over the kids or money, you are not in a possition to drag a third person into the mix. Do your self and everyone involved, wait until the kids are settled or grown and your ex is settled. Re-marrying will only ad increased stress to an already stressfull and tense situation. Many ex's will try anything to maintain any sort of a "Marrital relationship" with their former spouse that they can, make sure you know if you are in that relationship.
If you find yourself having to constantly defend your previous marriage to and with your ex spouse, you certainly are not ready for a third person to be thrown into the mix.
Be very aware of your future marriage partners relationship with his / her ex, they may still be too connected and not emotionally available to begin a new relationship with you if they are constantly dealing with the last failed marriage.
Good luck!
With some thought, you can have a successfull second marriage and beat the odds of the second marriage divorce rate that is now over 60% !
It’s a proven fact that second marriages suffer a divorce rate higher than first marriages because of a simple, yet serious mistakes that people make when they re-marry.
Psychology Today stated that “a whopping 60% of second marriages fail. And they do so even more quickly after an average of 10 years; 37% of second marriages have dissolved versus 30% of first marriages.”
If we are to learn anything from our first failed marriage it should be the fact that you need to re-marry with intense CAUTION. Here are several suggestions that will help you beat the odds of the second marriage divorce rate and make your second marriage a success:
1. Make Sure You REALLY Know Who You’re Marrying this time.....
Be sure that YOUR beliefs are equal with your spouse’s. And I’m not just talking about religion here. I’m also talking about your partner’s beliefs about making and saving money, disciplining step-children, love & affection, sex etc.
Being unable to agree about beliefs on subjects like these that will quickly put your relationship on the fast track to divorce.
Do not make the same mistakes you did in your first marriage.
2. Create a Check List of Issues that Led to Your Last Divorce
Write down every thing you and your ex fought about throughout your marriage. List even the little things because after a few years they become BIG THINGS!
Did you struggle with jealousy issues even though your spouse gave you no reason to be jealouse?
Did you and your ex have money problems in your marriage... Make a list of all the issues that contributed to your last divorce.
Those may seem like insignificant issues right now, but it is better to get everything out into the open BEFORE you are married...than to be sorry that you didn't later.
3. Don’t Rush Into your Second Marriage Because You’re Blinded By “Love”.
Research shows that the second marriage divorce rate greatly increases if you’ve been in a relationship with a person for less than a year. Do not make the mistake of thinking this research does not apply to you. As difficult as it may be to accept, these ARE the facts.
Few people are thinking straight if they remarry too quickly.
Though you may not want to hear this right now, romance is a very powerful “drug”. It will keep you in a trance like state right up until the moment you say I do…for the second time.
4. Again, I cannot emphasize this enough...Honestly Look at What Caused Your Last Divorce.
To beat the odds of the second marriage divorce rate, you MUST start to be honest with yourself. Understand that it was NOT just one issue or the other person that “caused” your last divorce, you were 1/2 of that failed marriage, accept your involvement in your failed marriage.
It is the clash of two OPPOSITE value systems that drives people to divorce.
Two opposite “values” or "belief's" can cause a variety of problems in a marriage like:
Internet porn-adultery
Infidelity
Over-sensitivity
Lack of intimacy
Excessive fighting
Confusing and unclear communication
Not enough quality time due to busy schedules
Unsolvable children issues
Inability to find the real source of conflicts
It's important to find out which issues caused conflict in your last marriage so you can openly discuss them with your partner.
There is no need to discuss ALL the details of your last marriage...not with your future spouse or your last spouse. If you are truly emotionally and legally divorced you will have no need to explain your failed marriage to your ex.
5. CLEARLY Understand Your Expectations of Each Other.
It is important to go into a second marriage with a clear understanding of what your needs are. Men and women’s expectations and needs are shockingly different, so be sure to talk openly and honestly about these needs BEFORE you get married the second time around.
If you REALLY want to beat the odds of the second marriage divorce rate and make this time around a success, you MUST understand the CRITICAL role that your and your spouse's belief systems take on in a marriage.
6. Wait to re-marry until you are over your divorce!
If you are in a constant battle with your ex over the kids or money, you are not in a possition to drag a third person into the mix. Do your self and everyone involved, wait until the kids are settled or grown and your ex is settled. Re-marrying will only ad increased stress to an already stressfull and tense situation. Many ex's will try anything to maintain any sort of a "Marrital relationship" with their former spouse that they can, make sure you know if you are in that relationship.
If you find yourself having to constantly defend your previous marriage to and with your ex spouse, you certainly are not ready for a third person to be thrown into the mix.
Be very aware of your future marriage partners relationship with his / her ex, they may still be too connected and not emotionally available to begin a new relationship with you if they are constantly dealing with the last failed marriage.
Good luck!
With some thought, you can have a successfull second marriage and beat the odds of the second marriage divorce rate that is now over 60% !
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